


The Runaway

by OldStories



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Phan Fluff, Phan Smut, Phanfiction, Runaway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 13:34:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8715919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldStories/pseuds/OldStories
Summary: Phil ran away from home, but on his first evening in London, he's  run over by a car and finds himself in the hospital. The only thing he remember is some small fragments from when he was run over, like when a browneyed angel found and saved him.OBS! This is a rewrite of a story I wrote years ago and originally posted on Wattpad. So if it seems familiar that's why xoAlso, I have no Beta and most of the story is written on my phone so autocorrect might've been an arse here and there where I've missed it.... Sorry!





	1. Chapter 1

_12:46_ read the time on the train ticket in his hand. He gazed at his watch again, 12:51... He shifted his gaze, looking down the platform and towards the horizon, waiting impatiently. His mother would be back by now and she would most likely have found his letter as well. If this stupid train didn't show up soon, he feared that he would never get the chance to escape again.

"Finally!" He exclaimed as he spotted the train on the horizon. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, he picked up his single duffle bag while the train came to a screeching stop in front of him. He finally boarded it and within a few minutes, it left the station.

He breathed out in ease, smiling widely. He had finally done it! He was free!

Delighted he found himself a seat and threw his bag carelessly on the seat next to his. He let out a breath, feeling lighter than he'd done in a very long time and another smile lit up his face. He was actually on the way to London, his dream city!

 

After the first hour, the ecstatic feeling left him and he started to feel incredibly nervous, what was he thinking? He was yet to turn 17 and now he was on his way to London, where he'd be all by himself. Of course, this was what he'd looked forward to and wished for the last year or so, but still. How was he going to live? Eat? Study?

He had enough money for the first month or so, as he'd spend the last year working nonstop to save up for his move. He had worked hard to get this far, nothing would stop him now.

 

He had no inkling of how many hours had passed by when a female conductor made her way through the train, heading in his direction. He suddenly realised that he hadn't seen his ticket since before boarding the train and he frantically started to look for it. He's come too far to fail now!

After rummaging through his luggage, he found the ticket in the his pocket and handed it to the conductor with a sheepish grin.

She let out a warm a comforting chuckle before continuing her way through the train.

 

He stared through the window of the train, watched as the scenery flew by. Everything would be so strange, who knew if he'd ever see his family again? Who knew if he'd ever see his brother again?

His gut wrenched at this thought, leaving his brother was one of the hardest things about this.

Thinking of his brother, he found himself fiddling with the leather bracelet he was wearing. It had been a present from his brother, a promise that he would love him forever and never leave him behind.

On the bracelet was a silver appendage with his name Phil engraved on it. Well actually, his name was Phillip, but his brother had always called him Phil.

 

Finally, the train started to slow down and a female voice informed the passengers on the train that they would be at Kings Cross in a few minutes. Phil swung his bag over his shoulder and made his way out of the train as it finally stopped at the station. Walking along with the swam of people leaving the station, he suddenly found himself outside. In London.

Without much of a plan, Phil started down a random street, hoping to come across some cheap food, a place hiring young people and a place he could stay. First, though, he really needed to get to a hairdresser. He was tired of his reflection with boring mud blonde hair. He'd always wanted his hair black and this would be a great opportunity to do it. A great opportunity to hide his identity a bit more as well.

 

At last, he spotted a saloon and he went with it. Upon entering he was greeted by a young woman, she could only be a handful years older than himself. "What can I do for you today sweetie?" She asked.

Phil liked her instantly.

 

"Um, I was hoping you'd have time to cut and dye my hair today?" He replied hopefully.

 

"You're in luck honey! We actually have a client who just called in to cancel their time in 10 minutes. If you just put your stuff down back there, I'll be with you in 5." She shot him a wide smile and strutted off. A bit shocked but very pleased, Phil placed his things in the wardrobe and went to wait for the young woman.

 

It seemed like no time passed before Phil found himself leaving the saloon. A cheap lollipop in his mouth and raven black hair on his head. The black hair made him look incredibly pale, but he loved it! It felt so much more like him than what he'd had before.

 

His stomach growled and he remembered that it had been ages since he’d had anything to eat. Looking around for any clue of where to find food, he shrugged and started down an almost empty street. Soft raindrops fell on him as he walked along. He felt so light and free. With a wide smile on his face as he walked, he probably forgot to pay attention to the traffic. Crossing the street without much care a whooshing sound was all that warned him before pain shot through his body. Something hit his head and it felt like an explosion inside is cranium. Then... Then everything went pitch black.

 

 

Have you ever experienced that strange sensation between dreaming and waking up? When you are aware of your surroundings and the fact that you are dreaming, but you're not quite able to pull out of is yet?

That was how Phil was feeling.

 

His head hurt like it had never hurt before, something felt warm and wet against his cheek, sticky.

He felt so cold.

 

Despite his best efforts, he didn't succeed in opening his eyes or moving a muscle. Still too caught up in dreaming, he figured.

 

It was as if every little sound he registered echoed around his cranium until it became so loud, it damaged his brain. It made it hard to remember things. Why was he even asleep? How had he fallen asleep? Where was he? Who was he?

 

A scream shoved him out of his head, words were called out and something warm touched his cheeks. A soft voice spoke above him and finally, finally he managed to crack open his eyes

 

It was like staring directly at the sun at first, the light hurt his head terribly, yet he forced his eyes to stay open.

 

"Ohmygod you're awake!... You're gonna be alright okay? You'll be okay. You'll be just fine"

 

The words made no sense, but the brown-eyed angel speaking them had to be the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid his eyes upon. He couldn't stop looking, so he didn't. Only as he was brought away from the angel, did he close his eyes once more and drift back into his dream.

 

 

His body felt like it had been through hell and back. His mind felt like it had been asleep for years.

Fighting his eyes open, his stare was met by a white ceiling. Looking about, it turned out that everything was white. He had no clue where he was. It was just really white.

 

Perhaps he was in heaven? No that couldn't be, heaven wasn't supposed to hurt like most of his body did. Perhaps he was in prison? Well there was no metal bars but perhaps he had been put into a prison for mentally deranged? Probably not. Was he hospitalised?

 

Only now did he notice the different beeping noises at the side of his bed. Turns out, he was hooked up to machines, drops, and all kinds of funny things.

 

This meant that he was hospitalised, but he had no idea why.

 

Actually, he hadn't a single clue about who the heck he was.

Who was he?

Where was he from?

What was his name?

His family?

Why?

How?

What?

Who?!

 

Everything was moving, somebody was screaming, bodies rushed around him.

He became sleepy. He felt his eyes droop. Just before drifting away, he saw the angel with the chocolate brown eyes.

 

His angel.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

He had been looking at the unknown boy through the ajar door when the boy had woken up suddenly. Dan was pondering whether to step forward and engage contact with the boy or not when John Doe begun trashing about on his bed, screaming at the top of his lungs. Dan was shoved aside by doctors streaming into the room. Soon the boy was back asleep and they left again.

 

Dan's stomach turned. He felt nauseous. He was so tired but whenever he closed his eyes, he was met by graphic pictures of a stranger on the street, left in a puddle of his own blood. His mother had forced him to talk to a therapist, but it hadn't helped. He figured that the only thing that could help was to see the boy alive and well. Not that it seemed very likely at this time. Four days after the accident and the boy had finally woken up, just to be forced back asleep.

 

The nauseous feeling became worse and Dan realised that he actually was going to throw up. He bolted for the nearest bathroom, without looking at the boy again.

 

After emptying his stomach, he walked to the staff room where he threw himself on a couch. He fought back the tears pressing behind his eyes and waited for his mother to get off from work so he could just go home already.

 

His mother finally showed up, upon seeing the state of her son she went over and pulled him into a warm embrace. This was why Dan loved his mother above everything. She let him have his freedom but when he was I trouble, she just knew exactly when he needed her and what to do. "Let's get home, love" she said, kissing his cheek.

"Yeah"

 

Chris and Peej came by in the afternoon. They had both been with him when he had found the boy in the street four days prior. They had been at a concert and was walking back to PJ's house when Dan had spotted the boy.

 

Dan told them about earlier, how the boy had woken up and how he had been put back to sleep. They both looked so hopeful upon hearing he was awake, but their faces fell when he told them that the stranger was back asleep for who knew how long.

 

Being a group of boys at the age of 16 and 17, they would never admit to this, but they cried together that evening and not for the first time. When they had talked things over for the 1000th time, they wasted away some hours playing PlayStation. It was late when Chris and Peej left and Dan went directly to bed, willing himself not to think before he fell into a restless sleep.

 

Dan was back at that night again.

Chris, Peej and himself laughing as they strode down the streets together, their arms linked by the elbows. Then Chris stopped and the other two nearly fell over. Chris let out a scream, Peej froze completely and Dan found himself kneeling next to the boy in split second.

 

There was blood everywhere and Dan couldn't imagine the boy being alive. Yet he recalled his mother saying that there only was two scenarios where you were allowed not to provide first aid; when the head is severed from the body and when the body is rotten... Dan went through the first aid he could recall in his head. There was a pulse - he's alive! - Is he breathing? Yes he actually is! Is there anything blocking his air? No. Is his neck or bag hurt? No.

"Is he alive?" Pj's voice called from somewhere, Dan grunted out a yes. He heard Peej pass on the information, apparently he'd called 999.

 

Dan moved the boy to the most comfortable and useful position he could think of in the situation and stayed next to him, checking his pulse every few seconds.

Finally, he heard the sirens. He looked down at the boy again and his eyes met a pair of ocean blue eyes. It was barely a second before the eyes fluttered shut again, but it was too late, Dan had been hit. He had been his hard.

 

When Dan woke up the next morning, he was damp from sweat and felt anything but well rested. The clock on his phone read 9am. His mother would've left for work 3 hours ago. He should probably go back to sleep or something, but he didn't. He got up, took a shower, put on clothes and straightened his hair.

 

At 10:30 he walked through the entrance at the hospital and made his way to the stranger’s room.

He was asleep. Dan couldn't tell if he'd been awake again or not, he hoped he had. Sitting down in the armchair next to the bed, Dan looked at the boy again.

 

He looked so peaceful as he lay there, like he had no problem being hospitalised... He looked so free. Caught up in his world of thoughts, Dan fell into a light slumber.

 

"Who are you?" It was a weak voice that Dan couldn't quite place. It wasn't Peej, Chris, his mother... His eyes shut up and again a pair of blue oceans met his eyes.

"Um" he was speechless.

 

"Who are you?" The boy asked again. "Earlier there was only a nurse and she told me to go back to sleep again... I know I'm in the hospital, but I don't even know why I'm here... Who are you?"

 

"I'm... Um... Im Dan..iel" Dan couldn't even close his eyes, the state from the stranger was so intense.

 

"Daniel.... Hmm..." He kept quiet for much longer than Dan liked, when he finally spoke again, it hadn't been what Dan had expected. "The lady earlier wouldn't tell me anything other than that I had to go back to sleep... Daniel, who am I?"

 

Dan gave a sombre look. "I don't know, I'm sorry."

 

The boy looked incredibly disappointed. He lowered his gaze and kept quiet again. Dan fell back into his own thoughts but was rattled out of them by the boy attempting to reach his right wrist with his left arm. This was impossible since his entire left arm was in a cast.

"Um, what are you doing?" Dan asked hesitantly.

"Trying to get my bracelet, I think it’s important... Like I don't know why, I just feel like it would be helpful.... Could you perhaps help me Daniel?"

 

"Dan" he replied. "Huh?" The boy looked baffled. "Dan... Call me Dan, all my friends do." A smile, "okay then Dan."

 

Dan looked at the bracelet; it spelled a name, Phil. Dan wondered, could this be the name of the boy?

"Phil?" Dan asked, hoping for a reaction. He didn't have to hope for long, the boy reacted instantly with a 'yeah?’ He might have lost his memory but not his core.

 

"The bracelet has Phil engraved to it. I think it might be your name." Dan explained, smiling brightly at the boy.

 

"Phil?... It sounds familiar, it sounds right... Phil." Phil broke into a wide smile and Dan's heart melted a bit. He was so happy that the boy was beginning to look and act more alive again.

 

 

"I'll call you Phil then, if I may?" Phil nodded at this, while Dan gave a wide smile.

"Dan and Phil" Phil mumbled, "It has a nice sound to it." This time Dan couldn't help but laugh at Phil's comment.

"Yeah it does."

 

They sat in silence for a brief time. Not uncomfortable silence, Dan noted to himself. He broke off the silence with a quiet gasp, remembering the duffle bag Phil had had when he'd found him. The bag was laying on a table in the corner and Dan stood up to go get it while Phil followed him with his eyes.

 

"You forgot something in your bag?" Phil asked. Dan shook his head with an affectionate smile. Phil was already growing on him.

"This is your bag." Dan replied.

"Oh..."

"We don't have to look in it if you don't want to..." Dan said a bit hesitantly when Phil kept quiet. "I should probably tell the doctors that you woke up anyways."

 

Dan stood but before he managed to take a simple step, a warm hand closed around his wrist. Dan felt cliché beyond belief, but he could describe this touch in no other way than small fireworks or perhaps a tinkle all over the area that Phil was touching. It was intense nonetheless.

"No I want to look!... With you preferably. Please don't go yet..." Dan couldn't say no to those eyes even if he tried. He sat back down.

 

The bag contained clothes mainly but there were some small clues to who Phil was as a person. The first thing they came across was a small stuffed Lion; this one didn't spark anything in Phil's memory.

Dan was happy to find out that Phil owned shirts with muse and sonic and various other things that matched his own interests. Phil had also brought a couple of books with him and a Nintendo DS, which didn't hold any new information either. Whomever Phil was, he certainly didn't seem like he was interested in being identified, before he had been run down.

 

They joked for a bit, Dan told Phil about his interests and hobbies. Phil listened closely and tried to recall anything about himself but without much success.

Eventually, Dan packed Phil’s bag again and put it back where he found it. "I should really go and find one of the nurses and get them to check on you." He said.

It was hesitant, but Phil finally agreed and Dan left to fetch a nurse, doctor, or whatever.

 

Dan found his mother first, or actually, his mother found him. He was just exciting the room as she was going to enter it and they nearly collided in the doorway.

 

"Ohmygod I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed before looking at her son. Her apologetic face changed into one of amusement. "Daniel, of course it's you I'm crashing into." She laughed.

"Well hi to you too mum." Dan mumbled as he looked back over his shoulder, his brown eyes connecting with blue orbs. Phil looked confused and amused at the same time. Dan's mum followed Dan's gaze and she gasped.

"You're awake! Splendid!" She walked right past her son, stepping into her serious nurse character.

 

She started asking Phil a lot of questions, how was he feeling, what did he remember, what was his name, etc.

With Dan's help, Phil retold most of his and Dan's conversation to Dan's mother. Finally, she let them off the hook and she commanded Phil to get some sleep again.

Dan was ushered out of the room by his mother after he managed to promise Phil that he would be back after school the next day. He then went directly home and went to bed but he couldn't sleep. Phil was on his mind, it was different than it had been before. Instead of a broken Phil, feelings of horror and worry, Phil's face was now filling up his mind and with it followed curiosity, fondness, happiness and even though he would never admit to it; attraction. 

Dan really wanted to see Phil again.

 

When he woke up in the morning, he didn't feel well rested at all. The school day lasted forever and Dan just wanted to get to the hospital. He had told Chis and Peej about Phil and they really wanted to go see him, Dan told them to wait until the afternoon though, so Phil wouldn't be stressed out by it. This was a good excuse. In reality, he just wanted time alone with the strange boy.

He kept wondering if the real Phil was anything like the Phil he knew, but he figured that it didn't matter, as the world was right now, he had found a new friend in Phil.

 

Finally, the last bell of the day rung out. Waving goodbye at Chris and PJ, Dan was out the door.

Walking through the entrance at the hospital, Dan suddenly felt uneasy, a bit nervous even. Parts of him wished that Phil had recovered some of his memory and other parts wanted him to stay this way forever. He scolded himself, he didn't even really know any of the Phil’s yet, besides it wasn't his life, he shouldn't have a thing to say at all.

 

Dan found Phil where he had left him, except now he was sitting up in bed with one of the books from his bag cracked open in front of him. Dan just looked at the other boy for a while, before realising how creepy just staring was. He muttered a soft hi.

Phil's head snapped up and their eyes met. Phil lit in a wide smile and for a split second, breathing became less fluent for Dan.

"You came back!" Phil exclaimed. Dan couldn't understand how him showing up could bring such happiness, but he wasn't going to question it, just enjoy it.

 

"Of course I came back, dummy, I promised I would."

"I know, I just... Feel like I have a hard time believing people when they promise my things."

"Oh... That sucks..." Perhaps it had to do with whom Phil actually was Dan thought as he sat down next to Phil's bed. "Anyways, have you had a nice day?" He asked.

 

"Yessir! Well it was boring at first but then I asked your mum to get a book from my bag and she brought me this one. I had to start over though, since I don't remember anything I've read so far."

Dan chuckled.

"I really like your mum, Dan. She's so nice and happy and warm!" Dan swore that Phil's smile could outshine the sun.

"Yeah she really is a great mum."

They talked for a bit, Dan told Phil about school and his friends, and they joked around. Suddenly Phil got quiet.

 

"Um Dan, I-eh... I wanted to thank you. Your mum told me what happened to me and the doctors don't think I would've survived without you finding me when you did..."

"You don't have to thank me Phil, I only did what was the most human thing to do in the situation." Dan said humbly.

"Well not everyone would've done it... And I am thankful even if it was 'just the human thing to do'." Dan smiled.

"Apropos, my friends PJ and Chris who was with me when we found you really want to come see you tonight... Only if you want of course."

"I would love to!"

That damn smile, Dan thought, it will be the death of me.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Phil felt incredibly nervous when Dan left to go meet with the other boys in the entrance hall. He was excited to meet them but worried as well, what if they didn't like him? What if they would regret saving him? At least I have Dan, he thought. Dan was really beautiful, Phil had seen that at once. What was the odds? The brown-eyes Angel that had been with him when he was in a coma was the one he woke up to the second time he awoke. The Angel was Dan, the boy who treated him so nice, the boy who'd saved him. Dan was just all over incredible and attractive. Phil wasn't shy to admit that. Perhaps it was a perk of the amnesia.

Phil hated being alone, he had been haunted by nightmares in the night, a giant man had been beating him up, then a car had run him down, a woman had screamed at him and slapped his cheek. He was thankful when he'd woken up and the dreams had stopped, but he longed for company the second he was alone... Especially Dan's company.

 

Finally, Dan returned, accompanied by two boys. They both looked nervous, as if they didn't really know if they wanted to be there. Phil didn't get them, if anything, he should be the nervous one... But he guessed it was weird for all of them, even Dan had told Phil how weird it had been to actually talk to him the first time, since before that the only time he'd seen Phil awake had been briefly at the scene of the accident.

 

"Phil this is PJ and Chris," Dan introduced the boys before they all sat down by the bed, "Peej and Chris, you have seen Phil before" he continued.

 

"Have you done something to your hair? You look a lot better than the last time we saw you!" One boy – Chris - exclaimed. The other boy, PJ shoved Chris in the shoulder and Phil chuckled.

"But for real, I'm so happy you're better." Chris gave a smile, which Phil returned.

"We were really worried. It's so good to see you awake and happy!" PJ said.

 

Chris and PJ had a lot in common with Dan and therefore a lot in common with Phil as well. After the first weirdness and awkwardness, conversation started flowing freely. Dan told Phil that he had turned 16 earlier that year, PJ was 15 but soon 16 and Chris was 16 as well. Phil didn't know how old he was. But the doctors meant that he was between 16 and 18.

 

They laughed and enjoyed themselves, the boys not leaving before a nurse came by and threw them out around dinnertime.

They waved a happy goodbye and goodnight before leaving. This time Dan didn't promise to be back.

 

Phil tried not to think about it, but if Dan didn't return... If he did return but not before next week? Phil would feel horrible. He really wanted Dan to return as soon as possible.

 

 

Three weeks went by before Phil was finally allowed to leave the hospital. He would have been let out before if not for his amnesia. He could remember stuff by now, like the books he had read before the accident, his favourite music, which games he had loved while growing up. He even remembered kissing another boy in the park, in his bedroom, at school. He then remembered being dumbed by said boy.

Despite all these memories returning, he couldn't recall his real name, his age, his address or home town. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't even recall his parents' faces or names. He could recall a face, which he was certain belonged to his brother, but not a name to follow it.

When the hospital finally decided that they couldn't do more for him except regular check-ups, he had to stay another two days before they figured out where he would stay. He feared being thrown into an orphanage, or the house of evil foster parents. He feared being put in a hotel room or something like that all by himself. His fears turned out to be completely unnecessary.

Apparently, Dan's mother was a registered foster parent. She hadn't had anyone in for a few years, but when she heard that they were planning to put Phil up with someone, she immediately volunteered.  

 

Phil felt incredibly anxious as he sat in the passenger seat of Ms Howell's ("Ms sounds so old! Call me Sarah, sweetheart") car by the end of November.

He knew it was her choice to take him in, but he still felt as if he was being a bother. He tried not to think about it though.

Sarah parked the car, lead the way and soon they entered a large flat. She showed him to the room that would be his for who knew how. He threw his bag on the bed and smiled at Sarah.

"Thank you, for everything." She smiled at his thanks.

"You don't have to thank me or apologise or anything of the sort, okay dear? We're super happy to have you here, don't convince yourself otherwise." She had a warm smile and Phil liked her a lot.

"Okay... Thanks" he smiled sheepishly and she chuckled.

 

After a quick tour of the flat, Sarah left to go shopping, she said that Dan would be home soon and told Phil to make himself at home.

Phil went to 'his' room and unpacked quickly. He had so few belongings that it took less than five minutes to put it all away. He then ventured out into the rest of the flat again.

 

He walked past Dan's room twice before the curiosity finally got to him. He padded over to the door and cracked it open just a few inches before peering inside. It was a nice size for a bedroom. There was a comfy looking bed by one wall, a desk and piano by another. The walls themselves were mainly covered in posters and pictures of several of Dan's favourite bands and what looked like photos of Dan and his friends through the years. The room was untidy with clothes and other stuff everywhere on the floor, scattered over the bed and on the desk. Phil chuckled, this room was so entirely Dan, it was a bit funny.

 

Phil closed the door again, now with a warm feeling in his chest. Dan was so adorable, just the sight of his room could make Phil's heart throb faster. Damn he had fallen hard and fast for the other boy.

 

Phil went back to his own room again and tossed himself across the bed. He picked up the small stuffed lion his brother had given to him, back then it had had  the bracelet that had given him a name after the accident around its neck like a collar but now Phil was wearing the bracelet.

Hugging the small lion into his chest, he let out a sigh.

"Who knew you could fall in love as hard as this?..." He wondered to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

School had been shit, they had had tests all day, Dan had been prepared for none of them... his head felt heavy, and he just wanted to sleep.

He made his way up the small flight of stairs, unlocked the front door of the flat and went directly for his room. He was distracted midways there though, the door to the guest room stood ajar. Dan went through the days of the week in his head quickly before realising that this was the day. The day Phil would move in with them. He loathed himself momentarily for forgetting such an important thing.

 

Dan forgot how exhausted he was as he peered into the room. Phil was asleep, laying sprawled out across the bed. Dan chuckled. His otherwise worn out mind and soul felt all warm and fuzzy, seeing Phil like that. Dan had been alarmed in the start by all the strange feelings being friends with Phil had brought him. Now he had started to enjoy it, Phil was amazing and he made Dan feel amazing.

 

When the urge to hug or cuddle Phil became too much, Dan pulled himself away from the doorframe, closed the door softly and went to the living room. He threw himself on the couch, turning the tv on at a low volume.

 

His mother softly shaking his shoulder stirred him awake.

"Dinner's ready," she told him. Normally she would never allow for him to sleep this many hours in the middle of the day, but since everything with finding Phil and worrying about him and now exams, sleep didn't come easy and his mum knew he needed every ounce of it he could get.

 

"I'd expected that you'd spend time with Phil from the moment you got home, but then you're both asleep instead." His mum chuckled and she proceeded to ruffle his hair. She knew he hated when she did that.

 

"He was asleep when I got home, I decided to relax and wound up falling asleep myself." Dan said, getting up from the couch. "I'll go and wake Phil, and then we can eat." His mother gave an approving hum and Dan left, padding down his hair, trying his best to fix the damage done by his mother.

 

After dinner, they hung out, watched Death Note until way past a reasonable bedtime and eventually they went to bed.

 

Dan woke with a startle. It didn't take him long to figure out what had woken him up as he heard another gut wrenching scream. Dazed he looked around in his room, trying to find the source of the screams before realising that the screaming came from the guest room.

 

Dan jumped out of bed faster than he thought possible, pulled on a hoodie and went next door into what was now Phil's room, without knocking the door. Later on, he would probably scold himself for not considering that he should've knocked, but upon hearing that scream? No way in hell, he was going to wait politely after knocking the door.

 

Phil was sat on his bed with his face buried in his hands, sobbing violently.

 

"Phil?" Dan approached him slowly. He wanted to just run to his side and gather him up in his arms but who knew how the already clearly distressed Phil would react to that?

Dan moved slowly and when Phil didn't seem to react, he moved closer and eventually wrapped his arms around the other boy.

Phil returned the embrace, leaning into Dan and burying his face in Dan's shoulder, still sobbing violently.

 

"Shh," Dan stoke a hand up and down Phil's back. "It's all okay, it was just a dream, I'm here okay? Everything is gonna be completely fine."

 

Eventually, the sobs died down and Phil lifted his head off of Dan's shoulder. He looked completely and utterly broken with bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks from all of his crying.

 

"I'm sorry I woke you up..." he was avoiding eye contact and Dan swore his heart broke a little bit by seeing Phil this way.

 

"Phil there's no need to apologise at all, you're my friend, I'm here for you no matter what okay?" When Phil didn't reply or meet his eyes, Dan put a finger under his chin and tilted his face up so their eyes met again. "Okay? No worries, I'm here for you."

 

"Okay..." his eyes, they were so blue.

 

"Was it a nightmare?" Dan asked eventually.

 

Phil tried to reply but fresh tears welled up in his eyes and he resolved to nod instead of speaking.

 

"You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to." Dan assured him.

 

"I want to I just..." tears spilled down his cheeks again. "It was so terrifying Dan! He was just hitting me over and over, calling me faggot and fairy a disgrace to the family and... It seemed so real, and it hurt so much, like my entire body was broken by being hit repeatedly..."

 

Phil was full on sobbing again and Dan brought him in for another embrace, rubbing his back in soothing circles.

 

"It's okay now, he can't hurt you here, I'll be here to protect you." Phil calmed down and Dan stayed with him until he finally fell back to sleep. Dan most of all just wanted to sleep next to the other boy, but that would be inappropriate he reminded himself before venturing back to his own room and bed.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

The nightmares kept happening, almost every night Dan would sit by his side until he fell asleep. One night when it had been particularly bad, Dan came to his aid and they just sat in each other's arms until they were both tired out of their minds.

"You should go to sleep," Dan whispered, already starting to move away from their embrace. Phil didn't think, not about how pretty Dan was, not about how much better his company made him feel, nor about how Dan's smile could light up the skies. He just grabbed Dan's wrist.

"Stay with me?"

And so they slept, tangled together in a comforting and comfortable embrace.

 

Mid December came around. Dan slept in Phil's room occasionally now and the nightmares always stayed away for multiple nights after Dan had held him close though the night.

 

After all but begging for it, Phil had finally been granted permission to start school again. Since he could remember a lot of glimpses but without any real trace of how far along he was in his education, he had been appointed to join Dan in his classes. That way they could work together and help each other.

Phil would start on Monday, but first they had to get past Friday and PJ's birthday party.

 

"I can just use some of my clothes, I don't want to be bothersome..." Phil said. He was sat cross-legged on Dan's bed while the other teen was searching through his closet for the exact short he had in mind for Phil.

 

"Phil, you have like 5 shirts and 2 pair of pants! You're already using my clothes and this is Peej's 16th birthday, we have to look nice."

 

Phil sigh but wait patiently with a fond smile stuck to his face. Finally Dan let out a triumphant laugh and he pulls out a red checkered button up that Phil must admit probably would look nice on him.

 

Dan stayed in a high mood as they changed and fixed their hair. Dan upon seeing Phil in the shirt, insisting that Phil keep it.

Finally, they were ready and they each gave Sarah a hug before they left for PJ's.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

They walked the five blogs to PJ's place in a high mood. At least Dan was really happy. He was so excited for people to get to know Phil before the other boy would become a student in their high school.

 

Dan told Phil about everyone, trying to raise his mood before the party, but Phil remained silent.

"You okay?" Dan asked reluctantly.

They were now stood outside Peej's door, and Dan could see the fear written in Phil's eyes.

 

"What if they don't like me?"

Dan went in for a hug without asking permission. Phil seemed tense, but as soon as he was swept up in Dan's arms, Dan felt the other boy relax.

"They'll love you, I promise" Dan whispered by Phil's ear. When Dan pulled out of the hug, Phil looked a bit more confident.

They knocked the door and PJ greeted them with a wide smile.

 

"Happy birthday, mate!" Dan exclaimed upon seeing his friend. PJ laughed and pulled Dan in for a quick hug, thanking him. He went over to Phil who congratulated PJ quietly before hugging PJ quickly.

Dan then proceeded to pull out a present for PJ. It was some money and a really disturbing piggy bank, a freakish triangle that 'ate' your pennies.

 

"Thanks," Peej laughed after opening his present from the other boys.

 

After talking for a short while, they went in to join the party. Dan was enjoying himself and it really seemed like Phil was doing the same. Eventually people began playing drinking games and soon Dan was more drunk than he would probably admit. He'd gotten his hands on a bottle of red wine which he clasped tightly in his grasp while making his way over to Phil.

 

"Phiiiiiiiiiil! Dan-dance with meee Phil!!" Dan was really happy, he almost fell over but Phil managed to catch him by the arm and hold him steady.

Phil looked lost and hesitant, but in Dan's state, he didn't really notice.

 

"Wouldn't it be better to go home, Dan?" Dan didn't even register what Phil said properly. He just stared at Phil in awe, not unlike what he'd done for weeks on end now... except for the alcohol of course. Phil had so pretty eyes. Dan realised how close they were standing after he nearly fell over and Phil catches him. Phil was like some prince, supportive, beautiful, and just plain wonderful, his lips were so plump, and Dan could just lean in and kiss them. So he did.

 

Phil though, looking completely unaware of what was going on inside Dan's mind, pulled back in the same moment and walked away. Dan stared after him, the disappointment heavy in his chest.

Less than a minute passed by before Phil returned with their overcoats and scarfs.

 

"I said goodbye to Peej from you, he told me he'd ring you up tomorrow." Phil said, handing Dan his stuff. "Let's go home, okay?"

Dan still just wanted to dance with Phil, but he couldn't say no to those eyes while as intoxicated as he was at that moment.

Phil took his arm in his as they walked, helping him keep his balance. Dan swore his heart skipped a beat.

 

"I feel bad for you," Phil said after a while, Dan looked at him with confusion in his face. "I feel bad for you since your mum will probably tease the living being out of you and your hangover tomorrow."

 

"Oh fuck..."

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Phil had a hard time falling asleep. When they'd gotten home, he had had to talk Dan into going to bed since Dan would rather stay up and play games or watch movies. Then he'd kept insisting that Phil should sleep in his bed with him, and Phil had waited till he fell asleep before retreating to his own room.

 

It wasn't that Phil didn't want to sleep with Dan, quite the contrary really, he wanted to sleep with Dan more than anything. No that was a lie, he wanted to wrap his arms around Dan and kiss him senseless more than anything else. Anyways, Even though they might have shared a bed before, it just seemed different this time and Dan was really drunk. Phil didn't want it to seem like he took advantage of the other boy.

 

Now he lay awake in his bed, thinking about Dan's face earlier, when Phil had stepped into his personal space by accident and Dan had gaped at him, eyes flicking from his eyes to his mouth. Phil hated himself a bit for pulling back before Dan managed to push his lips to Phil's... but Dan was drunk, he probably wasn't even attracted to Phil, it was just the alcohol speaking.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

His head was killing him, his mouth was dry beyond belief and his mind was all over the place. He rolled over in bed and groaned in despair as the world spun and his headache worsened by the movement.

Dan was pretty certain he remembered all off last night, from getting to the party and making sure Phil was alright to Phil escorting him home. He remembered leaning on Phil, trying to get him to stay in his bed with him and - oh, god... he'd tried to kiss him!

Dan's heart sped up with this realisation. He'd never really considered kissing Phil before and now that he thought about it, he just wanted to go do it. But he couldn't. Phil had pulled away from him, which was an obvious sign that he was uncomfortable with the idea of kissing Dan.

It was funny, Dan had never really considered his sexuality that much. Sure he'd thought about it when people had asked about his love life but he'd never put further thoughts into it. He'd always been attracted to guys as well as girls, but never before had he had a crush on or had he been in love with a male and now Phil had strolled into his life and Dan was starting to question things.

I his head only hurt worse from all the thinking he was doing, so after a while, Dan forced himself to get out of bed. He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth - because nothing taste worse than morning breath while hungover - and went into the lounge.

 

"Good afternoon Sleepyhead!" Phil greeted loudly. Dan glared at the other teen who did nothing to help his headache. Phil just laughed.

 

"Hmpf" Dan replied and plunged down next to Phil on the couch. He was about to lean his head in Phil's shoulder but thought otherwise, remembering how Phil had pulled away from the kiss the evening before.

 

"Hungover?" Phil asked a minute later, his tone of voice split between teasing and caring. Dan's stomach did a little flip.

 

"A bit, my head hurt so much." Dan complained. Phil stood up, left the lounge and soon reappeared carrying a glass of water and some painkillers.

 

"You didn't have to do that... but thank you." Phil's smile was perfect and Dan wanted to crawl under his duvet again and figure out his feelings and what to do when he wasn't hungover anymore... or perhaps never.

"I hope you had a good evening?" Dan asked, changing the subject from himself.

 

"It was good, it was nice to meet everyone, they were... nice."

 

"Yeah" Dan chuckled and Phil's cheeks tinted a soft rosé as he looked away with a small laugh himself.

 

Almost ten hours passed before one of them spoke again. Never had Dan experienced the least bit of uncomfortable silence with Phil before, but this time Dan was certain that just entering the room would make someone else uncomfortable as they sat there, not knowing what to say, Dan feeling terrible, Phil mysterious as ever.

"Um want to watch a movie or something?" Phil said finally.

Dan was about to say yes as he changed his mind again - a lot of mind changing this morning.

 

"Actually I think I'll go back to bed, see if I can sleep this hangover out." He said, leaving the lounge as Phil mumbled a 'sleep tight' at him.

Dan felt more at ease when he was back in the sanctuary that was his bed. He should really figure his thoughts out, but being the procrastinator he was, he went to sleep instead, hoping that everything would be better in the morning.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

The weekend had been strange, Dan who otherwise used to be pretty affectionate and didn't mind cuddling or staying in Phil's room, nearly hadn't touched Phil. Phil didn't know if Dan was mad and if he was, he couldn't figure out what he'd done wrong to make Dan mad. Phil luckily hadn't had a nightmare, he was so scared of having one and Dan staying away because they apparently weren't close anymore.

 

Monday finally rolled around and Phil was incredibly nervous. He was starting school again.

Yes, he met most of his classmates on Friday, but that was a whole different situation from actually going to school.

 

There was a knock to his door and after he yelled out a 'come in', Dan pushed the door ajar and smiled at him though the crack. Phil was so in love with Dan's simples, he wanted to kiss them both.

"Ready for school?"

 

"As ready as can be I think." Dan laughed at his reply.

 

"Don't worry Phil, you met them on Friday and they already love you." This is when Dan would normally hug him, but not he just received a pad in his shoulder before Dan left the room again. "We gotta go in less than 10 minutes." Dan called down the hallway.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

The class took in Phil instantly and within a week, it was as if he'd always been a part of the class.

Dan would be lying if he said he weren't jealous. Not about Phil fitting in in the class, Dan had never been the most popular, but he fit in and everybody treated him nicely. No, he was jealous of everybody else. They were touching Phil's arm, shaking his hand, giving him hugs and getting to know him for the first time. Dan felt the evil green jealousy monster turn in his stomach as he thought about how much he wanted to be the one to speak to Phil all the time.

 

After school, Phil seemed to be in a better mood than he'd been since before the party Friday. Not that he was really ever in a bad mood; he was just more talkative and bubbly now than before. He was adorable!

 

"I'm really happy that you had a good day," Dan said sincerely with a soft smile. Phil met his eyes and smiled back.

 

"Me too. We do have a lot of homework though." Dan groaned.

 

"Can't we just act as if the homework doesn't exist?" He pleaded. Phil shook his head with a soft laugh.

 

"No Dan, we have to do our homework, or else the teachers will hate us”

 

“But we don’t learn anything from homework, I literately can’t remember even a single time were I've learned something from homework.” Dan argued

 

"Perhaps that's because you never really do your homework?" Okay Phil had a point but whatever. "Anyways, I'm gonna do mine, it would just be easier and faster if we did it together." Phil gazed expectantly at Dan and Dan knew he'd lost.

 

"Okay, whatever, let's do our stupid homework together."

 

"Yay!" Phil did a small hop of glee and his eyes lit up and Dan was yet again reminded of how far gone he was for this boy.

 

After finally finishing their homework, they decided to play Sonic and Dan had never seen anybody so bad at it that Phil was. Phil had a fun time anyways, judging by his laughs with his tongue poking out and the way his eyes shone when they met Dan's own eyes. Dan made sure not to sit too close to Phil and avoided leaning on him. Eventually as the evening drew by, Phil was crossed the security zone and moved closer to Dan, leaned his head on Dan's shoulder. Dan was certain Phil would be able to hear his heart as if sped up, but Phil didn't say anything.

 

Dan was head over heels for Phil and Phil didn't seem to return the feelings. Dan felt so stupid; you should never fall in love with your best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

Phil was really loving school, the teachers were great and he had almost no trouble with keeping up with the classes. He had gained a whole bunch of friends besides Dan, PJ and Chris and this helped him to keep his mind of how Dan had retreated from him lately. But despite how much he loved school and his new friends, he still missed being really close with Dan. It wasn't that they didn't hang out, it was just less than before and Dan kept a physical distance from Phil. Dan still came to his aid when he had a nightmare, but they'd become really rare by now and sometimes Phil almost wished he could have one just so Dan would hold him again.

 

Despite everything being a bit strange between him and Dan, Phil still looked forward to Christmas like a little child. Dan's mum would have to work for Christmas Day so it would be just him and Dan, which excited him and worried him a bit at the same time.

 

Christmas Eve was perfect and when they finally went to bed in the evening, Phil was so happy he actually struggled to fall asleep.

Therefore, instead of sleeping, he found himself pondering his and Dan's friendship into the early hours. At least, he thought, we can be best friends even if I'm in love with Dan and he doesn't love me back. Perhaps they would even be better off only as friends.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Dan woke up when someone knocked his door.

"Come in," he called out and buried his head in his pillow again.

The door opened to reveal Phil in his pj's, with crazy hair and a blanket over his shoulders. Phil smiled widely at Dan and Dan couldn't help but smile back.

"Good morning!" Phil sounded excited, which he guessed made sense since it was Christmas after all. After hesitating for a moment, Phil sat down in Dan's bed, across from Dan who'd gotten up into a sitting position, still with his duvet wrapped around himself and his hair all over the place. He was so cute.

 

"Morning," Dan replied, rubbing his eyes. He looked at his phone quickly it was only 10 am! "This is way too early, Phil!" Dan complained and Phil laughed.

 

"Oh come on Dan, it's Christmas! Let's go open presents!" Dan was about to complain again but Phil grabbed a hold of his arm and dragged him out of bed and into the lounge.

 

 

They both sat down on the floor by the tree, leaning their backs on the couch behind them. Phil pulled a packet out from underneath the tree and held it towards Dan.

 

"Don't you think we should have breakfast first?" Dan giggled.

 

"Presents first, breakfast later!" Phil replied enthusiastically to witch Dan's giggle turned into a soft laugh.

 

"Okay then Phil, 5 years" Dan replied. Phil puked his tongue out at him and handed Dan the present. The present turned out to be a llama hat and a new Pokémon game.

 

"Omg Phil, this is amazing! Thank you so much!" He pulled Phil in for a hug, momentarily forgetting that he wasn't supposed to really touch Phil all that much. Phil looked so happy when they parted though, so Dan let it slide. He put on the Llama hat and fetched his present from Phil from underneath the tree.

 

Dan handed Phil the present and Phil opened it way too slow for Dan's liking. As Phil finally finished opening it, he laughed in glee. Dan had given him a lion hat and the latest Buffy box set.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Phil was so happy with his present so he pulled Dan into their second hug of the morning and he savours every moment of the feeling. Dan was all that was warm and safe in the world and Phil just wanted to cuddle up next to him forever and ever after.

 

"This is incredible, thank you Dan."

 

"Haha, you're welcome. You were really hard to buy a present for at first, until I remembered your love for Buffy." They laughed for a bit, before falling silent. This silence was comfortable, them just sitting by each other's side, enjoying Christmas morning.

 

"So, breakfast and a movie?" Dan said eventually and Phil agreed enthusiastically.

 

They went to fetch themselves breakfast from the kitchen before plunging down on the couch in from of the telly. Dan had insisted on them watching High School Musical, so that was what they'd ended up with.

 

Phil spent more time watching Dan than he did watching the movie, he just couldn't help himself. Dan sang and danced alone with every song and under 'Breaking Free', he even stood up and belched along with the chorus.

 

Phil laughed at him, wishing that he and Dan could have an ending like Troy and Gabriella and soon his laughter morphed into small sobs and treacherous tears rolled down his cheeks.

 

Dan gazed back at Phil when he heard the other boy whimper. His features instantly changed from a grin into a worried and caring expression. He paused the movie and wrapped Phil up in his arms, this only made Phil cry harder because after two weeks of near to no physical contact at all, they were now hugging for the third time in a day and only because Phil was being stupid.

 

"Hey, hey... calm down, what's wrong Phil? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Phil still couldn't stop crying and he clutched Dan's shirt, burying his face in the other boy's shoulder, trying to muffle his own sobs.

“Phil, please tell me what’s wrong?” Dan said again stroked Phil's back.

 

Phil finally got a grip of himself and managed to calm down a bit more. He pulled away from Dan slightly, netting his eyes. Dan's eyes wide with worry, yet still that deep hazel colour that Phil had fallen in love with. The eyes of the Angel who saved his life a couple of months ago.

 

"I just... I watched you singing along to breaking free and I wish I could have an ending like Troy and Gabriella... who do love hurt this much?" Phil finally admitted, burying his face in his hands as the tears returned.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Dan sat there, completely still for a moment as he felt his heart shatter in his own chest. Phil was in love. Phil was in love with someone else and was crying because he couldn't have his Troy and Gabriella ending and it was ridiculous and horrible at the same time and Dan most of all just wanted to cry himself.

Dan couldn't work out how to speak, he was just staring at Phil, trying with all of his might to pull himself together and be there for his friend. His best friend that he was in love with. His best friend who was in love with someone else.

 

"D-do you want to um... talk about it?” He finally managed to stutter out and Phil met his eyes with confusion shining though his despair.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Phil didn't know how to reply. He'd been convinced that the us would be the end of their friendship. With him just somewhat confessing to his feelings for Dan. Perhaps he'd misread Dan? Perhaps Dan was actually interested in him too? Perhaps Dan hadn't caught on and thought that Phil was into someone else? Perhaps Dan hated Phil and was just teasing him now?

But what if... what if? Would Phil be able to live with himself if he let this chance slide by? And at the same time, there had to be a reason for why Dan had distanced himself from Phil.

Phil couldn't keep up with his thoughts anymore. Nothing made sense in his head.

What did make sense though was incredibly amazing brown eyes staring at him in worry and confusion and Phil made the decision before he was aware of it.

 

Phil held his breath, closed his eyes and leaned forward, pressing his own chapped lips lightly against Dan's soft ones.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Phil's lips were soft against his own, despite being chapped. Dan felt his breath leaving his body in a split second before Phil pulled back.

Phil had pulled away and was already starting to freak out before Dan even really understood what was going on. Phil was about to stand up when Dan caught his wrist and held him in place. Their eyes met and Dan let his free hand run up Phil's arm, caressing his cheek before pulling him in.

 

Their second kiss was longer but just as sweet. No rushing or grabbing at each other, just the two of them shuffling closer, moving their lips slowly in sync.

Dan felt electric, as if his whole body was buzzing with joy and love and everything was simply perfect.

Dan wanted to stay like this for eternity.

 

Dan had no idea of who pulled away first, nor of who started the third kiss. But kiss they did and hours could've passed without neither of them noticing. Dan felt as if he was flying, soaring above the skies with Phil in his arms.

 

When they finally broke apart, they were both flushed and wore small grins on their lips. Perhaps Christmas was magical after all.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Dan was adorable, all red cheeks, dimples and hobbit hair. Phil wanted this moment to last forever. Phil felt as if his brain had restarted, his thoughts made little to no sense and his worries seemed unimportant. All he knew was that Dan was beautiful and perfect.

 

Phil pecked Dan's lips and rested his head on the other boy's shoulder after.

 

"Dan?" He whispered.

 

"Yeah?" Dan whispered back. Phil lifted his head so their eyes could meet again.

 

"I am so head over heels in love with you..." If Phil thought Dan couldn't look happier, he'd been wrong. Dan's face lit up and he pulled Phil close for the umpteenth time.

 

"I am completely and utterly in love with you too." They shared more kisses and hugs before cuddling up and continuing their High School Musical marathon.

 

They had a lazy day, Dan's mum got home from work but they'd decided not to tell her anything yet. They ate dinner together, unwrapped the rest of the presents and watched a movie. When Dan's mum finally went to bed, Dan and Phil hung out in Dan's room. They played Mario Cart while sitting close, kissing each other while the game loaded or to distract the other.

 

"Thank you," Phil said as he got up to go sleep in his own room.

Dan tilted his head at the other boy in confusion. "Thank you," Phil said again, "I don't think I've ever been this happy before." Dan smiled.

 

"Me neither... sleep tight." Dan leaned up for a last kiss before Phil left, turning around in the doorway with a smile.

 

"You too. Dream sweet dreams about me." Dan laughed and they went to bed.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

The Christmas holiday came to an end, Dan and Phil spend New Year’s with Chris, Peej and some of their other friends and it was a great evening.

 

Now they had to return to school and while Phil was looking forward to it, Dan was dreading it. They were sitting in Dan's bed the evening before school returned, watching Buffy.

"Why do we have to go to school," Dan whined. "Couldn't we just like spend all day on Tumblr or on playing Mario Cart and earn a living by that?"

 

"That would really be the life, wouldn't it?" Phil replied, "But it isn't and school is important." Dan sighed in defeat.

 

"I just don't want to, there's no purpose to it... honestly."

 

"You're not usually this upset about school, Dan you know you can tell me if something's wrong." Dan let his head fall on Phil's shoulder and Phil squeezed the other boy closer to his body.

 

"I know... I think... I guess I'm just scared? Like I know we don't have to come out to everybody all at once but I've known these people for years and I am so scared of them changing the way they view me or even start hating me. I'm already getting tired of being wary around people and in school it'll be more hours and more people. I'm already feeling tired..."

 

"Oh Darling," Phil mumbled, kissing Dan on the top of the head. "I understand you, trust me. Unfortunately being gay isn't as accepted as it should be, but trust me when I say that those who matter will be there for you, through everything. I'll be with you no matter what, if you want to keep us private for now or if you want to go scream it to the world, I will back you up 100%."

 

"Phil..." Dan was almost whispering now.

 

"Yeah?" Phil replied quietly.

Dan lifted his head from Phil's shoulders and Phil's heart ached a little when he saw how worn out Dan looked from all of his worries. Dan met his eyes and Phil smiled encouraging at his boyfriend.

 

"I think I love you. No, I know... I love you Phil."

 

Phil almost tackled Dan, pressing their lips together. Dan chuckled but met the kiss with equal enthusiasm. He nibbled Phil's lip and Phil gave access for Dan to deepen the kiss.

Phil ran his hands up Dan's bare stomach letting fingers brush softly over nipples, pulling soft noises from him.

 

Intrigued by the noises Dan made, Phil started kissing down the other boy's jaw and neck, knowing the neck was a soft spot for him. This time Dan whined and wiggled beneath Phil. Phil could feel other boy’s erection against his hip and he was certain Dan felt his too. A thrill went through him, knowing he was the one doing this to Dan.

"Phil..." Dan gasped in between soft whines and moans. Phil hummed in reply, kissing his way back up to the other boy's mouth.

Dan's hands ran down Phil's sides before he grabbed the hem of Phil's shirt, pulling at it. Phil obliged and lifted his arms above his head, only breaking off their kiss for a short moment while Dan pulled at his shirt until it was over his head. Dan threw the shirt at the floor somewhere, letting his hands roam over Phil's chest like Phil had done his before. Phil felt like his skin was on fire everywhere Dan touched; he never wanted it to stop.

 

Phil moved a bit to get in a more comfortable position and their erections rubbed together through their pants and pj's. The moan escaping Dan's lips was everything Phil wanted and more. Dan clutched at his sides as Phil did it again, this encouraged him to keep repeating the movement. They soon found a steady rhythm, moving together, panting, kissing, moaning, and trying to touch every part of each other's torsos all at once. Phil could feel the climax building up in him far too soon.

"I'm... soon" he panted.

"Me too" came the reply.

Phil gasped Dan's name as he reached bliss, he rode his orgasm out and soon Dan's face said everything as he reached climax too.

 

When they finally came down from their high, Dan leaned up to kiss Phil softly.

"I'm all sticky and uncomfortable now!" he whined.

"Well so am I." Phil replied, Dan laughed and kissed him again.

 

They made sure to set an alarm for the morning before they cuddled up in Dan's bed. Laying face to face, Phil couldn't stop staring at Dan. He still felt high from his orgasm, all warm and fuzzy. He leaned in to peck Dan's lips quickly.

 

"Dan?" He said.

 

"Yeah?" Dan replied lazily.

 

"I almost forgot to say because you saying it made me so excited... I love you." Dan laughed with joy before curling closer up to Phil.

Another few lazy kisses were shared before they both drifted off to sleep.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Dan woke up slowly, feeling a bit too hot but oh so comfortable. Phil was pressed against him, with arms wrapped around him and his face muzzled into Dan's neck.

Dan could feel Phil's morning wood press against his arse and his heart swelled, recalling every second of the night before.

Dan didn't think he'd ever get enough of the noises Phil made when they were rocking together or the face he'd pulled as Dan had made him come.

Phil had said that he loved him. Dan felt like his heart might burst from happiness.

 

Parts of him reminded him that he should probably be freaking out, he'd performed a sexual act with another boy. He wasn't the least freaked out though, he was just happy.

 

When their alarm went off, Phil whined sleepily behind him, tightened his arms around Dan's waist and nuzzled his face further into Dan's neck. Dan chuckled. Phil was adorable.

 

"Darling," Dan whispered, "we should probably get up."

Phil whined again.

 

"But you're so warm and soft and comfortable..." he complained, "I want to stay like this forever."

 

"Me too, except, my pants are really becoming uncomfortable by now, I feel all wet and sticky."

 

"I could make them wetter" Dan laughed at his boyfriend and struggled a bit to turn around so he was facing Phil without really breaking their embrace. He leaned in to kiss Phil, who hummed happily. Dan the pulled back, resulting in a pout from the other teen.

 

"What about you join me in the shower instead?" He said, a bit insecure.

 

They didn't really do anything in the shower, they stepped out of their uncomfortable clothes and let their eyes roam each other's bodies. They stepped under the warm water and washed each other, sharing lazy kisses and cheeky grins.

Dan felt like he could burst of happiness.

 

He took a short moment to prise himself lucky, his mum was working a night shift so she wouldn't be home till after Dan and Phil left from school. It was incredibly nice to have a morning without being careful around her.

 

After showering, they got dressed quickly and left for school. Of course, Dan complained the entire way.

 

School passed by faster than Dan had imagined it would. Despite being incredibly annoyed by keeping himself from hugging or kissing Phil, it was a nice day.

People were nice, the weather were nice, the teachers were nice and there was almost no homework for them by the end of the day. All in all a rather successful day in school.

Despite this, Dan couldn't wait to get back home and be with Phil without having to worry about showing affection.

 

Then Dan remembered the problem with his mum being home all day since she had worked the night shift and he felt his heart sink a bit.

 

They were walking home, close enough for their hands to brush against each other, but without joining them.

 

"What's on your mind, love?" Phil asked after minutes of silence. Upon hearing the pet name, Dan didn't blush, not at all. His heart didn't skip a beat either. No way. Okay perhaps a bit.

 

"I'm already tired of hiding," Dan said, "I'm my own worst enemy really, because I still don't want people to know at school yet but I thought... perhaps my mum knowing isn't such a bad thing?" He looked to Phil who smiled encouraging.

 

"It's not a bad thing at all." Phil replied, "Do you want to tell her later?"

 

"Yes... or no... I don't know, I was thinking, perhaps telling her isn't so important? Like we just drop the act around her and she'll realise herself and then as she asks questions about it I can tell her?"

 

"Whatever you want Darling, you know I'm with you know matter what. I love you." Dan smiled and hugged Phil to his side quickly.

 

"Thank you, I love you too." Phil smiled and Dan felt as if Phil was his personal sun, keeping him alive and positive. Phil's smiles giving him energy.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

When they came home, Sarah was already making dinner.

 

"I had the time and felt like making something from scratch today!" She said when Dan had asked about it.

Dan pulled a funny face at her before they went into the lounge to do their homework.

 

"Mum making food from scratch it usually not a good thing," he muttered while they pulled out their math homework, "bread hard as stone, soup tasting like sand... I really hope dinner will be edible tonight."

 

Phil couldn't laugh at that. He could just see a young Dan in front of him, complaining about his mother’s terrible cooking abilities. He already really liked Sarah and this just made him like her even more, she was so human, so caring and funny and fierce. He really looked up to her.

 

After doing their homework, Dan put Buffy on where they'd left off the day before and curled up next to Phil on the couch, Phil slung an arm over his shoulder and kissed the top of his head.

Almost two hours passed by between the two of them getting home and Sarah poking her head into the lounge to inform them that dinner was ready. Phil swore he'd seen a fond smile on her face when she's spotted the two of them, curled up on the couch.

 

Dan was right, Sarah's food was not anything to be excited about, but with enough ketchup and salt, it was edible.

Dan and Phil did the dishes after eating, Phil was washing and Dan was drying. Phil splashed water at Dan who then dragged the damp kitchen towel across his face and neck, he then picked up a new towel and proceeded to peck Phil's cheek every time he walked past him to put something back in it's place.

 

Phil spotted Sarah spying on them in the doorway at one point when Dan kissed his cheek softly, he didn't think Dan noticed, Dan thought she was in the lounge watching Downton Abbey.

Later when they went to Dan's room to play PlayStation, she raised an eyebrow at Phil. Phil acted as if he didn't notice.

 

They actually did play sonic... for like 15 minutes before Dan got so frustrated by Phil's incapability to play the game that he turned it off.

They shared some soft kisses, then more heated ones and later more lazy ones.

They lay sprawled across Dan's bed, Phil's head resting on Dan's bare stomach and Dan's hand running fingers through Phil's black hair that was now sporting brownish blonde roots.

 

"Your mum saw us in the kitchen earlier," Phil said, Dan's hand went still.

 

"When we were doing the dishes?" He asked, slightly anxious. Phil knew that Dan had said that he was fine with his mum figuring things out, but he also knew that Dan had expected it to take a couple of days for her at least.

 

"Yeah, I caught her spying on us in the doorway, but she stopped after I saw her."

 

"Oh..." Phil popped himself up on his elbows and looked at Dan.

 

"It will be fine, Sarah's cool and accepting, she loves you more than anything, no matter who you are or who you love." Phil said.

 

"Yeah... yeah, you're always so wise. Thank you." He smiled. Phil smiled back.

 

"That's what I'm here for." Dan swatted his arm and Phil laughed.

 

Later, they cuddled up and went to sleep. Phil's nightmares were scarce by now, but he often had trouble falling asleep since the face of the man beating him haunted him when he was drifting off. Dan held him tighter as this happened, pressed soft kisses to his lips and cheeks and whispered 'I love you's until Phil finally drifted off.

Phil wouldn't admit this, but he was growing more and more terrified of the possibility that the man might be a real person, someone who had abused him physically though most of his life.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Two more days passed by where Dan occasionally caught his mum watching him and Phil when they were sitting close together or cuddling. It was not as if they were kissing in front of her, but Dan imagined that their relationship was pretty obvious by now.

 

Thursday afternoon, Dan came back from school by himself. Phil was working on an art project with PJ that Dan had already finished with Chris. When Dan opened the door to the flat, he was met by his mum sitting at the kitchen table, looking expectantly at him.

 

"Daniel! You're home!" She exclaimed as he entered.

 

"Yes, that's a correct observation," Dan replied. She laughed.

 

"Sarcastic little shit." She said, still laughing. This made Dan laugh too.

"Anyways, why don't you come sit, have a talk with your old mother?"

Dan knew what she wanted to talk about and he wasn't sure if he wanted to talk or not, he knew he had no choice though.

He sat down across from her at the table and they just stared at each other for a while. Dan looked so much like his mother, the same eyes, the same smile and dimples, one of the only real differences was that he had curls and she hadn't, and of course, that he was male and she female which made his features more masculine and hers more feminine.

 

"So..." She said eventually.

 

"So..." Dan replied.

 

 "Oh come on boy, spit it out!" She had a curious glint to her eyes but a wide and encouraging smile planted on her lips.

 

"Spit what out?" Dan went for playing dumb, knowing it would annoy her.

 

"Gosh Dan, you can't leave your old mother all curious like this! You and Phil?" Her stares could be really intense. Dan kept his eyes downcast, studying his hands, like the conversation was boring him and he could just feel his mum becoming more curious by the second.

 

"Phil?" He said eventually, "oh yeah, we're dating."

Dan didn't know which reaction he'd expected from her, but it hadn't been the squeal and happy clap that she did.

 

"Oh I'm so happy for you honey! I hope he's treating you right? How long have you been a couple? You do make sure use protection right? Because I raised you better than not using it, I-"

 

"Omg mum, stop!" Dan felt like his face was completely red by now.

"Of course he's treating me right and we've been together since Christmas Day... anyways... you really don't mind?... I mean, that I like boys too?" He was avoiding looking at her face, scared of her reply, despite her reaction to him and Phil being incredibly positive.

 

"Stupid boy, of course I don't mind! I love you no matter who you love, you'll always be my baby boy and I just want you to be happy."

Dan looked up at her, almost identical eyes meeting across the table. She stood up and walked to him, pulling him into her, wrapping her arms around him. Dan rarely realised how much taller than his mum he'd become.

"I'm so happy for you. Your happiness is everything to me Dan." She muttered into his shoulder.

 

"Thanks, mum... I love you too." She pulled away and smiled up at him.

 

"Just do use protection, okay?"

 

"Geez mum! Shut up!" Sarah laughed as Dan went all red again. Sometimes, he really hated his mother.

 

After dinner, Phil wasn't home yet. Dan was sat cross-legged on bed with his computer in front of him, he was catching up on his favourite YouTubers since he'd neglected YouTube a lot lately. With school, homework, and spending time with Phil, watching videos hadn't been a first priority.

He was still considering making videos himself, but he wasn't sure about it all.

 

There was a knock to his door; it was his mother who told him that she'd had to work a night shift since one of her colleagues had called in sick. Judging by her frown, she was anything but thrilled about that. She went to kiss his cheek before leaving his room again. 20 minutes later, she called goodbye and Dan heard the front door fall shut behind her.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

When he and PJ finally managed to finish their assignment Phil was shocked to see how late it had become. It was past 9 pm and he had a 15 minutes’ walk home.

He quickly packed his things and waved goodbye to PJ, calling out a 'see you tomorrow' as he left.

 

Sarah had texted him an hour prior, informing him that she'd be at work all night, telling him goodnight and to sleep tight. Therefore, when he arrived home to a locked door and a dark hallway, he expected Dan to be playing PlayStation or watching something in his room.

 

Phil tossed his back onto his own bed before walking to Dan's room. Dan was curled up on the bed, snoring softly while an episode of Game of Thrones were playing on his computer screen. Phil closed down the laptop and put it on his desk before he pecked Dan's cheek. He'd intended to go to his own room and read before bed, but Dan was stirring awake, smiling tired and slightly dumbfounded up at his boyfriend.

 

"You feel asleep watching Game of Thrones," Phil explained softly, "you can go back to sleep." Dan shook his head and sat up slowly. He looked at Phil with his amazing chocolate coloured puppy eyes and made grabby hands, signalling that he wanted Phil to join him.

 

Phil obliged and sat down next to his boyfriend. He cradled Dan's cheek lovingly, pressing their lips together briefly. Dan sighed happily, slumping against the other boy with his head resting on the other's shoulder.

"My mum confronted me..." he said eventually, "I don't know what I'd expected but she's really cool about everything, she said she's happy as long as we're happy."

"That's great!" Phil said and hugged Dan closer, "I'm really happy about her being cool with everything."

"Me too," Dan who was still slumped up against Phil, looked up at him before leaning up to press their mouths together again.

 

It didn't take long for the kiss to evolve from something sweet and lazy to something more demanding and heated.

Phil rolled them over so he was hovering above Dan, he was already hard in his pants and grinding down on the other boy. He could feel Dan’s erection against his through their pants. Knowing that Dan was turned on too turned him on even more.

Phil broke their kiss apart, moving his head to kiss and nibble at his favourite place on Dan's neck, making the other boy squirm beneath him in pleasure.

 

When Phil moved to kiss Dan on the lips again, the other boy took his chance and flipped them over. Dan straddled Phil and leaned down to kiss his boyfriend with passion. Phil happily complied. Soon their shirts and trousers came off, leaving them in only their underwear. Dan's hands were wandering down Phil's chest before they came at a rest just above the elastic of Phil's boxers. Phil felt himself holding his breath in anticipation as Dan's eyes met his looking for a sign to proceed. Phil leaned up to kiss his boyfriend again and Dan took this as a free light.

 

Phil didn't know if he'd ever had another person's hand on his cock but he quickly learned that he was absolutely loving it. Dan had pushed down his boxers before taking Phil's erection in his hand, moving it in a slow rhythm at first.

Phil let his head roll back and he couldn't keep back the moan that escaped him as Dan gained confidence and picked up speed.

"You're so good at this," Phil moaned and Dan smirked in return. When Dan leaned down and took Phil's erection in his mouth, Phil lost it completely.

"Dan... Oh god... yes."

 

He was gasping and biting his bottom lip to hold back some of the noises escaping him as Dan's hand and mouth worked him as if experienced. He felt the tension build in the pit of his stomach.

"Mmm... so c-close... Dan I'm- I'm gonna cum..." Dan pulled his mouth off of him with a soft pop and worked with his hand again.

"Then come for me baby," he whispered gingerly, pushing Phil over the edge.

 

Dan leaned up to kiss him and Phil could taste himself on the others lips, it should probably have disgusted him but it didn't, at all. If anything, it kinda turned him more on.

As Dan was pulling back, Phil flipped them over in bed again so he was on top of Dan. He quickly rid Dan of his pants and took his erection in his hand. The noises and expressions Dan made shouldn't be legal, it was enough to make Phil hard again.

"Phil... I want-"

"What do you want, love?"

"I want you... I -oh- I want you inside of me." Phil stopped what he was doing and their eyes met. He was fully erect again and fucking Dan sounded like the most amazing thing possible in that moment. Their eyes met and yet again Phil was amazed by how beautiful Dan looked, even now when he was ravished from sex.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes... please, I want you."

"Do you have, um, lube and condoms?" Phil asked

"Bedside drawer," Dan replied.

 

When Phil pulled out the bottle of lube and a condom, he suddenly felt more confident. Dan wanted him, he was almost begging for Phil to fuck him and Phil wanted to make it as good for Dan as possible.

"Tell me of it hurts okay?" Phil said as he squeezed some lube out on his fingers, rubbing his hands together to warm it up.

Dan nodded and spread his legs so Phil had easier access to his entrance.

 

Phil traced a finger around him, trying to get him to relax before he slowly pushed in the first finger. Dan tensed up at first and Phil kept his finger still until Dan managed to relax again. When he pushed it all the way in, he started moving it in and out slowly, already now searching for the lump of nerves that would surely make Dan squirm in pleasure.

"Is this okay?"

"It's a weird sensation, but I- oh - yes!" Phil smirked, he moved his finger in and out, hitting the same spot again and Dan gasped in pleasure beneath him.

Phil added a second finger, slowly scissoring him open, adding a third finger and doing the same. He made sure to hit Dan's prostate almost every time and already now was the other boy falling apart in pleasure beneath him.

 

"Ready?" Phil asked. Dan replied with a nod and Phil quickly pulled his fingers out, opened the condom and rolled it on himself. He squeezed a generous amount of lube into his palm before slicking himself up.

When he started to push in, he was going painfully slow, to make sure he wouldn't harm Dan.

"You feel so good," he commented as he'd pushed all the way in, he was still waiting from a signal from Dan before he started moving. The signal came soon after as Dan leaned up to kiss Phil

 

Slowly Phil started moving, Dan winched a bit at first but urged Phil to keep on going and soon, the other boy was gasping in pleasure beneath him. Rolling his hips to meet Phil's thrusts and displaying his rather impressive vocal cords when Phil hit the right spot deep inside of him.

Dan leaned up and their lips met in a sloppy kiss while they moved together, Dan's hands were grasping at Phil's shoulders so hard, it would probably leave marks.

Soon enough Dan came over their stomachs and the way he tensed up around Phil made him come not long after.

 

"That was incredible." Dan breathed as he came down from his high.

"More than incredible." Phil commented and Dan chuckled.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

 

They cleaned up the condom and wiped away the cum from their stomachs before they curled up together.

 

"You know what?" Phil whispered as they were close to sleep.

"Mmm?"

"I don't need my old memories anymore... I am making new memories and they are so amazing, I don't need what I was before as long as I have you."

"I love you so much Phil." Dan twisted around to kiss Phil briefly.

"I love you more." Phil replied. Dan laughed and shook his head at Phil. Phil beamed at his boyfriend, pressed a kiss to his cheek and hugged him close. Soon they were drifting off to sleep.

 

 

"I think I want to tell Chris and Peej about us." Dan said one afternoon about a week later as they were curled up together beneath the covers of Dan's covers.

Phil was surprised by Dan's sudden bravery. He felt a pride rise up in his chest, knowing how hard it was for the other to let the world in.

"I think that that would be a great idea," Phil replied. He pressed a kiss to Dan's head. Dan rested his head on Phil's chest and felt quiet again.

 

Time was flying by it was already mid-February. Phil had almost forgotten that he was supposed to live another life somewhere, a life that he had very few memories of still. Sure, some memories had returned but his time with Dan made them seem less important and honestly, he felt content enough with the life he was building. He was focusing on the good parts of everything, he had been granted the chance to start from scratch, on a completely empty canvas. Just with the prize of erasing the old painting, he'd been working on.

Phil did worry sometimes though, he was scared of some officials showing up out of the blue, informing him that they'd found his family and that he would have to leave Dan forever. He was scared of his nightmares, he'd become so used to them that they didn't wake him up, but they left him more worn out than he'd been before going to sleep. Dan probably knew about them still being a problem, but he respected it when Phil would rather just forget them. Instead of confronting Phil about them, he just held him tight and granted him soft kisses to calm him down.

 

"You know..." Dan said eventually, moving so Phil could look him in the eyes again, "I mean I'm worried, that you might think I'm ashamed of being with you? Because I'm not, I know it's stupid of me to be scared of coming out but I am.... but I want to be certain that you know I'm only afraid of coming out, not of being with you. I would never be ashamed of you."

"I know, love," Phil replied, a warm and happy feeling in his chest.

"I love you Phil... so much I think I'm gonna explode sometimes..." Phil didn't think he could feel happier in that moment, apparently he was wrong.

"I love you too, Dan, more than anything."


	4. Chapter 4

Dan, Phil, Chris and Peej hung out Sunday evening. After Dan and PJ had roasted the two others in Mario Cart for about an hour, Dan paused the game and looked to his friends.

"Um... I have to tell you guys something," Dan started. He looked from PJ's slightly worried face to Chris' curious expression. His eyes then met Phil's and the encouragement and love found there gave him the strength to continue.

"So... for the last month and a half I've been in a relationship." He admitted slowly.

"Uhhh, why didn't you tell us before? With who?" Chris replied instantly. He was looking oblivious as ever meanwhile PJ was gazing knowingly between Phil and Dan.

"I was scared of how you'd react," Dan said, "because I've been dating Phil. I'm gay." He felt relieved and scared at the same time, but when he saw his best friends smile at his confession, a warmth spread in his chest. Only seconds later, he found himself wrapped up in a group hug and he knew that everything would be just fine.

 

On the course of the next month, Dan found the courage to open up to more people, eventually the whole class knew of him and Phil, and soon most of the school did as well. Of course, there would always be the haters but luckily, no one who mattered had a problem with Dan, Phil or their relationship. Dan was living on cloud nine.

 

Unfortunately, for Dan, good things don't always last and the fall from cloud nine is no laughing matter.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

It was almost midnight. Dan and Phil was walking home from Chris' place. Dan was walking a few metres ahead of Phil, goofing around, trying to keep his balance on the curb, spinning around occasionally to smile widely at Phil.

Phil was laughing and smiling with his boyfriend. He felt like he was falling in love all over again just by looking at Dan being so happy.

Conversation was flowing freely between them until suddenly it wasn't.

 

It was a sense of déjà vu at first, then a terror that shot through his brain and a scream at Dan, telling him to move. Dan looked dumbfounded at Phil for a split second before Phil pushed him hard and he hit the ground. Then the car hit Phil and he remembered flying, then nothing.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Dan was screaming but no sound was escaping him. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move. He couldn't do anything but watching Phil's body as blood was painting the ground red.

Then there were people everywhere, standing between him and Phil so he couldn't see what they were doing to the love of his life. He think he managed to scream then, but now people were all over him. They wrapped strange blankets around him, guided him to the back of an ambulance and then he passed out.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

_Phil had turned six the day prior. He and a friend were playing in her backyard. She had dressed him up in one of her princess dresses, painted his nails and let him borrow some of the lipstick. He felt beautiful. Phil loved princesses. His dad always told him that he should love superheroes, which he also did, but he liked princesses as well._

_When it was time for Phil to go home, he gave her back the dress and washed off his lipstick. Her parents had taken Polaroid pictures of them and they gave him one that he brought home with him._

_Phil's mum gushed about how cute he looked in the picture and his brother teased him about being a little girl but hugged him anyways._

_That night at dinner, his dad noticed his nail polish. After dinner when saw the picture, he tore it up. Phil was then dragged upstairs by a furious father. He smelled of beer as always as he gave Phil the first beating of his life._

_"My son is no faggot, if I have to beat it out of him to make sure, then so be it." He slurred afterwards as he locked Phil in his room for the night._

_Five years passed by before Phil's father hit him again. It was his eleventh birthday and he had mainly invited girls over to celebrate him. His father had overheard him talking with a friend about their crushes and when Phil as said how cute Matthew looked, his father had shut down the party, given Phil a nice beat up and locked him in his room for 30 hours._

_Phil knew that his father was drunk and that he hit his mother too, but he couldn't stop blaming her for being with him. As the beatings became a weekly occurrence, Phil withdrew more and more from the world around him. By the age of 14, the only person who could get through to Phil was his older brother, and then less than a year later he moved out. That was when he gave Phil the bracelet that would later give him a name._

_Now Phil had nothing to keep him at home and he worked constantly for an entire year, saving up so he could run away._

_With his hard work, his dad started beating him less and more than a month before Phil left, he'd actually not been beaten. This changed nothing though he would still leave. And then he did._

_Dan’s beautiful brown eyes were burned into his mind. Their friendship had grown, their love had grown even more. They moved together, gasping in pleasure, they laughed together, they smiled together, they walked together, then Phil flew and he fell back into the black unconsciousness._

 

 

Phil felt his consciousness return to him slowly. His mind tried to recall everything that had happened before his flashbacks but nothing really came to him. Then everything hit him at once, his entire life was passing by his eyes and he wanted nothing more than going back to sleep. He felt as if he was exploding.

He groaned, hoping it would all stop soon.

 

"I think I heard something," a man spoke.

"You think he's waking up?" A woman replied. Her voice was familiar while the man's was the voice of a stranger.

"If he's to avoid brain damage, then hopefully he is waking up now."

"Oh please god let him be waking up then!"

 

Brain damage? Phil thought. I can't get brain damage then Dan might leave- Dan!

Was Dan okay? Did he manage to shove him out of the way or had they both been hit? Why wasn't Dan here? He needed him.

 

Phil gathered all the control of his body he could muster, opened his eyes and reached an arm out towards the voices.

"Thanks Jesus!" The woman exclaimed and rushed to his side. It was Sarah Howell. "Gosh I'm glad you're awake!" She breathed out with relief.

 

"Dan?" Phil croaked out, staring at her, "is... is Dan o-okay?" Sarah chuckled softly. Laying a comforting hand on Phil's arm.

"Dan is completely unhurt, he went into shock, but he is fine now, everything is fine."

"Thank god." Phil breathed out.

 

"Okay," the man spoke up again, Phil looked to him, he seemed to be a doctor about the age of 50.

"Now you already remembers Dan and the accident it seems," Phil flinched slightly at the word accident, "but I still have to ask you a few questions for check-up."

Phil didn't reply, he just stared at the man until he started speaking again.

 

"Yes, alright. First, can you tell me your full name?"

"He doesn't-" Sarah started but Phil cut her off.

"Philip Michael Lester." He said. He figured if he replied to all of the questions fast, then he would get to see Dan faster. He really needed to see Dan.

 

"Your memory!" Sarah exclaimed, "You remember everything?"

"Shouldn't I re-... oh." Phil quieted down. He remembered. He just revealed his name. His parents would be contacted. He would have to leave Dan. He... he shut his eyes tight and tried to stop the stream of thoughts before it turned into a panic attack.

 

When he regained control of his mind, he answered the rest of the questions and was soon left alone but with the promise that he would see Dan very soon.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

His mother had been quite vague about things, she'd simply told him that Phil was awake, he remembered and that he was waiting for Dan. Well perhaps she had said more but Dan hadn't listened. He was already walking down hallways, on his way to see his boyfriend.

Dan was so relieved that Phil remembered him, he'd been afraid of Phil having memory loss all over again, he couldn't stand the idea of Phil not recognising or remembering him.

 

He soon cracked open the door to Phil's hospital room and stuck his head inside, Phil was awake and instantly, their eyes met. Dan thought he might cry, actually scratch that, he did cry. Seeing Phil awake and seemingly well made the tears well up in his eyes and drop down his cheeks. He rushed forward, Phil held out his hand for Dan to hold and Dan did, intertwining their fingers. He leaned over Phil, pressing their forehead together. He could feel Phil's breathe on his face and he finally seemed to calm down. Phil was okay.

 

"I was so scared, Phil... I love you, I love you, I love you." Phil was still quiet, but Dan could hear the heart monitors acting up by him being so near and he felt like his heart would soon burst. When Phil strained his neck to push his lips against Dan's chastely, Dan was pretty certain that his heart actually did burst.

 

"I love you. I'm okay, or I will be. Everything will be okay." Phil whispered. Dan nodded, kissing Phil again.

 

 

Eventually Dan sat down in the chair by Phil's bed, yet still clasping Phil's hand tight in his grip.

 

"You were out for less than ten hours, but it felt like a lifetime," Dan said, his thump stroking the back of Phil's hand and his gaze downcast, "with me going into shock first and then being unable to rest or do anything really, being beside myself with worry..."

 

"I'm sorry... it felt like a lifetime for me too..." Phil mumbled. Dan peeked up at this.

 

"You remember your coma dream?" He asked.

 

"I remember everything Dan..." Phil was looking at him with weary eyes.

 

"Everything?" Dan asked dumbfounded.

 

"Philip Michael Lester." Phil stated, "I told the doctor my name without thinking and my family is probably on their way here already."

 

"Oh..." Dan should be happy really, he should feel ecstatic that Phil - Philip - finally remembered his life. Dan felt anything but ecstatic. He felt scared mainly, perhaps disappointed even.

Phil remembered his life; Phil would have to move home and Dan would never see him again.

 

Dan sat by Phil's bed for hours as doctors and nurses entered and left repeatedly. Their conversation was mainly Phil telling Dan about his childhood. He told Dan about his mum, brother, and about what it was like growing up in Manchester. (Manchester! That was so far away, Dan had struggled not to break down when Phil had said where he would disappear too soon.)

 

"I ran away from home," Phil admitted many hours later.

"You ran... why?" Dan had replied.

"Because for my father, he drinks a lot and he's homophobic and I was tired of living under the same roof as him."

"Phil, I'm so sorry..."

"It's not your fault, and really if it hadn't been for him, we would've never met!" So typical Phil, always seeing the glass as half full while Dan often saw it as half empty.

"I guess you're right..."

 

When Dan was kicked out so Phil could sleep, he went home, crawled into bed and cried himself to sleep.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Phil was terrified of seeing his father and he felt incredibly guilty about not telling Dan of the beatings he'd received from his father through his childhood. Despite the fear and guilt, Phil said nothing about it to anyone, parts of him knew that he should but for some reason he didn't. He played strong and he didn't really know why.

 

"Philip! Ohmygoditreallyisyou!" A woman was stood in the doorway of his room before she rushed to his bedside, hugging him to her body tightly.

"Mum," Phil breathed, he could say many bad things about his parents, but being held tight by his mum calmed him down and helped ease his mind.

"Oh my sweet sweet baby boy." She babbled, holding him tight and stroking his hair. Phil felt safe and content in a way he didn't know he'd missed.

Then his father showed up.

 

"Son." He grunted. They hadn't seen each other since November and if was May. They hadn't seen each other in almost six months and all he had to say to Phil was 'son'. Honestly, Phil didn't know if he felt relieved or enraged. Probably a bit of both.

 

"Hi dad," Phil said slowly. His father grunted again and without another word to the son, he hadn't seen for six months, he turned his attention to his wife.

"I spoke to the receptionist and I am going to the police station now to fix some paperwork and stuff, then we can bring him home when he is released from the hospital."

Then he left.

 

"I missed you so much, my sweet boy." His mother spoke again.

 

When Phil later told Dan about his parents visiting, Dan kept uncharacteristically quiet. Phil was worried out of his mind about Dan's thoughts on everything and Dan reacted by saying nothing at all.

 

A week passed by, Dan was with him for hours on end every single day, but they spoke of all and nothing instead of the problems at hand. Phil felt quite lost, he needed to know what Dan was thinking but the other boy had gone and locked his mind up.

On the day that Phil told him that he would be released from hospital within three days, Dan finally broke down.

 

Phil told Dan to crawl into bed with him and Dan complied, cuddled up to his boyfriend and cried his heart out against his chest. Silent tears were streaking Phil's cheeks as he comforted his sobbing boyfriend.

They sat there for who knows how long before Dan finally pulled back and looked at Phil with wide and puffy eyes. Phil's heart broke all over when he met his boyfriend's beautiful angelic eyes and they were puffy and filled with hurt and tears.

 

"I don't want you to leave..." Dan finally admitted.

"I really don't want to leave either... but I have no choice." Phil replied, running a hand through the other boy's curls. Dan hadn't bothered to do much about his looks that morning.

"I'm scared, that you'll forget me or fall out of love with me." Dan sobbed.

"I don't think I ever could, Dan. I love you so much. I promise I will remember you every single day. Also, we have phones and the internet and worst case scenario even letters."

"Yeah... yeah you're right, I'm just being stupid." Dan said eventually.

"You and I, Dan, we're forever." Phil said, finally making Dan smile.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

One day Dan was with Phil in the hospital and the next, he was told that Phil had been released and picked up by his parents. When he asked about Phil's things, he'd been told that they probably wouldn't be back to pick them up.

Dan felt his entire world collapse. He went to bed and cried harder than he ever remembered crying before.

He knew he was being stupid, it wasn't like Phil was dead or had dumped him or anything, but Dan had a feeling that he might as well have. With the brief meeting, Dan had with Phil's father a few days prior, he didn't expect to ever hear from his boyfriend again.

Their last words to each other the day before had been "I love you, see you tomorrow."

 

 

Dan spend one and a half week in bed before he managed to drag himself out of it and go to school. Soon he fell into old rhythms, just more quiet and withdrawn than ever before. He turned 17, he spend time with Chris and Peej, teased Chris when he got a girlfriend and passed his shoulder when they broke up. Time passed by and Dan didn't really stop to look back.

Dan knew that his mum was worried about him and he knew that his friends were worried about him, but he didn't care, he couldn't fix what had happened even if he tried.

Time passing became a blur, it became autumn, November came and passed and Dan felt more broken than ever, knowing it was a year since he'd met Phil. Then Christmas came, he spend Christmas Eve with his mum and went to bed in the evening, dreading the next morning.

Time was passing in a blur until it suddenly stopped.

On Christmas morning, Dan received an email from AmazingPhil@gmail.com.

 

_Dan,_

_I am having a hard time writing this. Not because it is a burden or because I don't know what to say. (Okay maybe it's a bit because I don't know what to say). Mainly though, it is hard because I want to write everything at once._

_Dan, I miss you so much, I often think about you at night and want to cry, wishing I could be with you._

_Dan, I love you so so so much. I love you and I miss you._

_When my parents brought me home, it happened so suddenly. Without my knowledge of the plans they picked me up. That they decided not to get my things was without my consent too. (I hope you're taking care of my things, I know they're well with you. Sometimes I find comfort knowing that a small piece, however small it may be, is with you)_

_My dad decided that 'due to all my accidents and crap', I should be home schooled. Because of this, he could keep me in the house without any computer or phone. (I've read a lot of books lately, I'm actually even working on writing one myself!) This is why I haven't been in touch._

_I should probably tell you, my father is an alcoholic and my mum is terrified of him. My brother was traveling around the world until a week ago and he knew nothing of what was going on._

_Now Martyn is back in England and he is the one who smuggled a computer into the house and gave it to me last night - on Christmas Eve._

_I swear, there's so much to tell! I have to go downstairs now though..._

_Dan, I'm so sorry about everything. I love you so much...._

_I hope you reply soon, even though I might not be able to reply often, seeing as I can only use the internet when Martyn is here and uses his phone as a hotspot for me to use..._

_I love you so much, Dan._

 

_Yours always._

_Phil <3_

 

Dan took a week to do it, but he managed to reply and every few days or weeks, he felt his heart peck up again as he received a new mail. His life started to make sense again.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Riding a train had never been more terrifying. Well the train ride wasn't especially terrifying, but the destination was.

He was heading to London for the first time in over a year. It was the 1st of June, school was over, he was 18 and he was a free man, ready for a gap year and time to find himself. On top of that, his parents had finally been divorced and his father had gotten a restraining order from all three of them! Life was great!

 

When the train pulled into the station, Phil got off and made his way towards his destination, the butterflies in his stomach was insufferable and he feared that he would show up on the doorstep of an empty flat since he was arriving unannounced.

His nervousness was insufferable when he finally reached the doorstep of the flat and pressed the button for the doorbell.

He heard steps behind the door and he knew that no matter what happened next, this would become one of the most important days of his life.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

There was someone at the door.

Dan sighed and forced himself off of the couch where he'd been sat for the last two hours, playing Skyrim.

He dragged his feet to the front door, expecting door sellers; he opened it without really paying attention.

 

"I'm sorry but I have no... Cash?" He said, actually looking at his guest halfway through his sentence.

 

They stood in silence, staring at each other. Dan was now slightly taller than Phil was. Phil was looking more grown up. Both felt like the other looked more attractive than ever before. A thousand thoughts and feelings ran though the both of them in their silence.

 

Then Dan stepped forward and their arms wrapped around each other before they collapsed together on the floor. There they were, sitting on the Howell Family's doorstep, all wrapped up in each other's arms, tears streaking cheeks and soft lips meeting chapped ones in desperate kisses, kisses to make sure that what was happening wasn't fantasy, but actually reality.

 

"I love you." One of them said.

"I love you." The other replied.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

 


End file.
